What Attracts The Opposite Sex: 40 Irresistible Secrets

Listen Up, Guys! Women Love it When You:

- Own a pair of really nice shoes and actually wear them
- Brush the hair out of our eyes
- Are able to hold a baby or push a stroller without squirming
- Plan an evening out from soup to nuts, from finding a movie to making the dinner reservations
- Kiss creatively
- Handle our emotions with grace and compassion
- Have impassioned, informed opinions about women writers and women's issues
- Can distinguish between being courteous and being wimpy
- Know how to inscribe a card with a heartfelt, personal message
- Demonstrate respect for others by standing up when your mother comes to the table, giving up a seat on the bus for a pregnant woman, asking your dad for his opinion and really listening, etc.
- Show genuine, platonic interest in your female friends' lives
- Are playful around dogs, cats and kids
- Make the bed in the morning and fold the laundry -- competently
- Offer juice, soup and TLC when we're sick
- Do the come-from-behind cuddle-hug, just to say hello
- Remember insignificant details, like our favorite color or flower, and make use of that knowledge
- Are unfailingly polite to all members of the service industries
- Offer us caresses and compliments for no particular reason
- Understand that we don't always like it slow and gentle in bed
- Understand that sometimes we do



Listen Up, Ladies! Men Love it When You:

- Have the ability to tease, be playful and take a joke
- Know that men are not, in fact, from Mars, and women are not from Venus
- Wear our T-shirts and boxers
- Call us out of the blue (if we're dating; not if we're practically strangers)
- Kiss creatively
- Have a social conscience and enjoy a good debate
- Have an easy-going attitude about watching or participating in athletic events occasionally
- Are comfortable leading the whole way in bed
- Ask for advice about non-stereotypically male stuff (yes, guys usually know what CD player to buy, but we like to be taken seriously about other things too)
- Are charming and thoughtful to his mother
- Can hold up your hair using only a pencil
- Are sexy and smart at the same time -- for example, you do the Sunday crossword wearing a pair of flirty pajamas
- Have the ability to remind us what gifts you like, without implying an obligation
- Have a spirit of independence, but one that doesn't make the man in your life feel unnecessary
- Know the difference between flirting and just ''being friendly''
- Eat a big meal and fearlessly order dessert
- Take naps next to us
- Send us flowers (believe it or not, men like getting flowers, too!)
- Know what you want
- Know what you want to do

It's Cheaper to be Fat!

It's cheaper to be fat! Yes, you heard me correctly..... As an African-American male pre-disposed to Cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and every other health risk out there; I am trying to do my part and eat better. What does it entail? Well, I buy better groceries, drink more water, joined a gym, and cut back on the fast food! However, one thing I have noticed is that, as I get lighter, so do my pockets.... Healthy food is expensive!!! I looked at my last few grocery bills and the total keep getting higher and higher, yet my grocery cart is getting emptier! Some people can't afford a gym membership, spring water, and yogurt shakes!

Just think about the TV commercials that we see from competing franchises.... 99 cent double cheeseburgers, 5 dollar large pizzas, 8 dollar buckets of chicken, pasta night, wing night! For someone with a family of five to feed, it sounds so convenient.... As I stared out the window of a local diner I eat at, I just happened to be across the street from a McDonald's. 4 out of every 5 people that came out of that door was obese. So, it made me wonder; Are people eating there because it's cheap? Because, I'm sorry McD's is not a 4 star establishment.



It also made me look at a few obesity statistics.... Blacks had 51 percent higher prevalence of obesity, and Hispanics had 21 percent higher obesity prevalence compared with whites. Greater prevalences of obesity for blacks and whites were found in the South and Midwest than in the West and Northeast. Hispanics in the Northeast had lower obesity prevalence than Hispanics in the Midwest, South or West. Have you noticed that the areas of the country with better paying jobs have better stats? Do you mean to tell me that we are oppressed, socially, politically, financially and now physically??? This is outrageous!


I mean really... Shouldn't we(society) encourage healthy living? Is it deliberate oppression? Why is the unhealty food so inexpensive? I shouldn't have to break the bank to keep trash out of my body. What processes are being skipped that cause the food to be so cheap? It makes you wonder doesn't it! I know certain races prepare food differently than other races, but it's not that different. The next time you go to lunch, dinner, or whatever time you eat out; take a look around and see what category you fall in. Take a look and see who is eating where you eat at.

Thoughts Please!

When is it the right time?

As I read through various twitter, facebook and blog posts, I see the complaints of various female and male socialites about the dating scene here in DC. This same disdain with the dating scene extends to other cities as well. Various people from different backgrounds, all having a yearning for courtship from persons of the opposite sex. Some looking for a life partner, some a quick fix, and others just someone to snuggle up with on a cold winter night.

However, the question I ask is, when is the right time? Right time for what you ask? Maybe I should be a little more specific. I am speaking from a male perspective, so I ask. When is the right time to approach a woman? I hear various women boasting that their male counterparts aint ish, and vice versa. People so upset with their social status, that they proclaim that they aren't dating ever again. Some looking for movement in a stagnant dating situation, left wondering what the next step is.

At the same time that I read and hear these various expressions of disappointment, I hear a large number of complaints about things we guys have nothing to do with! For instance, many people tweet when they hit the city night scene on the weekends, just as I do. It isn't until the next morning that I am able to go back through, and read everything that has been said about the happenings of that night. Some people are so expressive that, I almost feel like I was there. The funny thing is, people will tweet about the persons that have approached them for a drink, a dance, or even some conversation. Such comments like, "back away mini-me", "Grandpa, I am not interested in a Sugar Daddy", and "Watch out for the big girls", all come across my Twitter timeline.

The fact of the matter is, the same people that are looking for someone to get involved with, are shooting people down left and right. Now, my no means do I feel a person should settle, but give a brother a break. I mean really, calling the man mini-me? I'm sure he didn't elect to be 5'7", or start to lose his hair. If it were up to us men, we'd all be 6,3", with a full head of hair, clear skin, and beach bodies. Some things we just don't have control over. The funny thing is, most of the women complaining about height are shorter than 5'3", LOL. Like really?

Now, I know I have gotten off topic for a minute but, I ask again. When is the right time? If I just happen to be walking in the grocery store one evening, looking for my spaghetti sauce, and see a fine specimen of sheer beauty just at the end of the aisle, am I not allowed to approach her because we are in the store? Or what if we are on the train headed to work? I may not ever see you again. Or what about on Saturday morning when you are walking your dog, or picking up the dry cleaning? How about after church, as we pass the ushers? Do, we have to be in a social setting? Every time I hear about a brother approaching a female in a setting other than a social setting, he's getting shut down. It could be as simple as a morning "hello". The general response is "move it or lose it", LOL.

So, I ask for the question for all who want to know... When is the right time?

Please reflect!

What do they call us?

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of taking a road trip with a friend of mine to take care of some business. I would say it was about an hour drive. So, there was plenty of time to make some evaluations..... While on this trip, I witnessed various driving styles by the other commuters around us. I must say, a lot of people just simply don't know how to drive!

So, we are traveling down I-95 south, and get cut off by some lunatic driving an old ass Ford Escort (No offense if you drive an Escort)...... Although I was startled by the abrupt lane change, I was even more surprised at the reaction of the FEMALE driver that I was riding with.... And I quote "You White M*th*r F**k*r, don't you pull that piece of crap in front of me, I swear THEY(White People) don't know how to F**k*ng drive"..... That very moment begged me to ask the question.... What do they call us?

I mean really, I know I am not the only person that has wanted to be a fly in the car, when an African American driver cuts off a white driver, just to see what they say! Are they dropping the N-bomb? Are they call us Porch Monkeys, Coons, or Spooks? Granted, I know these all sound like names from the Jim Crow dictionary. However, just as grandmas pearls and quilt are passed from generation to generation, so does the racial vocabulary. But, really.... We lash out with racial insults in the privacy of our own vehicles. Don't they have the right to do the same? Maybe some do, maybe some don't. It just makes you think sometimes about the tainted roots of this country, and what the future holds in the dawn of our new Presidency.

SMH, Racism.... Will it ever end? I often wonder to myself, is there anyone in the world that is completely non-racist? I mean, as an African-American, I will always be reminded of the racial injustices that this country has placed upon persons of African descent for centuries. The years of slavery, lynching, raping, corporate discrimination, profiling, etc.... Yet in 2009, racism is alive and doing well. So, will it ever end? Can anyone really say to themselves that they love and adore persons of all races and creeds?... I can only speak for myself. Although I am reminded of the past, I cannot say that I actually hate anyone. However, I will say this, I dislike hatred and all of the ugly friends it comes with. Don't get it twisted. Just because you are African-American, doesn't mean we are automatically cool. Lord knows some of us really need some help, and if you hate everyone, then I can't get with that.

The topic of racism is too much to tackle in one blog. After all, many of our nations brightest scholars have written countless essays, articles, and books. However, I will leave you with a few other questions that float through my head on said topic.


Do you ever get offended when a white person decides to sit next to another white person on the train or bus, and there is a seat open next to you? I'm just saying, why did they chose that empty seat over the one next to me?

Do you ever feel weird in a room full of white people, and you are the only African-American? (ie... restaurant, company party/event, clothing store, etc) Are you yourself, or do you tap dance for them, and let them get away with comments such as "You aren't like the rest of them, hahaha".... lol smh..... "Blame it on the alcohol" I guess...

Can you date a white person and bring them home to mama? If we are striving for racial equality, why can't you? Ohhhhh, I get it. They are your significant other in private but, not in public..... (Side note, I often go to lunch with a white female co-worker. We are strictly platonic. You should see all of the dirty looks I get from people. Mostly from African-American women.... I just laugh and SMH)

Is it a problem that white people feel so strongly about dog-fighting, yet other hate crimes get brushed under the rug? Do they love their dogs more than they love us? I'm just saying....

It's been good people..... "Stay thirsty my friends"


Theo

"Mediocrity Always Attacks Excellence"

Are Celebs Immortal?

So sad.... we elevate celebrities to immortal status, and when they make a mistake, we act surprised, as if they aren't just human like everyone else....... tsk tsk, smh!


Recently our own Tiger Woods was involved in a car crash that was caused by him allegedly cheating. I have heard so much commentary in reference to these allegations…… “No, not Tiger Woods”, “I didn’t think he had it in him”, etc, etc…. When did Tiger get elevated to immortal status? Sadly, he isn’t the only celebrity that has faltered when it has come to infidelity.

The list of high profile cheaters is a mile long. You have, Tiger Woods, Shaquille O’Neal, Shaunie O’Neal, Eric Benet, Bill Cosby, Magic Johnson, Fergie, Michael Jordan, Usher, Bill Clinton, Gabrielle Union, Meg Ryan, and a host of groupies, just to name a few. Believe it or not, when it comes to adultery, both parties are held accountable, even if only one is married…..

So, back to the original question….. Why is it that we elevate celebrities to immortal status? Why does it so astonish that Tiger makes the same mistakes as “Tyrone”? How can Eric Benet cheat on Halle Berry, who some feel is the most beautiful woman in the world? These questions can be answered in various ways, and by various parties. The answers would in turn lead into other topics of discussion on how men and women view relationships, physical/sexual attraction, and moral.

It’s interesting to see the amount of pressure that we put on celebrities, to live the perfect lives. After all, they are human just as we are. Yes the cameras are always flashing, with virtually no privacy. One false move is heard around the world, and echoed for weeks on end via TV, radio, and tabloids…. Why is it that they owe an explanation to the world for their mistakes? Is a public apology really necessary? I feel like the general public should mind their own business, and let married couples handle their domestic disputes in private….. I don’t blame Tiger for not wanting to include the world in him and his wife’s private disagreements….. I feel that his wife deserves the apology more so than you or I!

I guess the idea behind it is that, they make more money, which puts them in a higher society, where the problems of the real world don’t exist…. Is that what it is? Notorious B. I. G. said, “More money, more problems”…. I guess he was right.

It will be interesting to see how this Tiger Woods saga unfolds. After all, Kobe rebounded from his sex scandal, R. Kelly’s perverted tail is still selling albums, Bill Clinton is still one of the favorite Ex-Presidents, and Michael Vick is still being heckled even though he has done his time….. Are we going to keep bringing it up, like we are doing Chris Brown (FYI, this happened 10 months ago)? Or sweep it under the rug, and give him a ticket? I don’t know, but keep posted my friends, I am sure this will not be the last that we hear about it!


"Mediocrity always attacks Excellence"